Common Ground

Sunday, 13 November 2016

COMMON GROUND

     I live in a demonstrably conservative neighborhood. Two things you will see a lot of in this part of the Southwest Metro Area are Christian churches and military families. Just about every bumper sticker you can read in the local driveways here will most likely mention gun rights, Jesus, a branch of the Armed Forces, or all of the above.

     You might think, then, that there would have been jubilant celebration in my neighborhood after the results of this most recent presidential election. There was not. Homer and I go for daily walks through this neighborhood, and the general vibe I get from the local populace is neither jubilant nor celebratory. In fact, if I had to put a single adjective on it, I would say the mood here is worried.

     Already I can hear my liberal friends sneering, “What do they have to worry about? Their candidate won, right?”. Yes, he did, but here is the thing: most of my neighbors are conservatives, but almost none of them are idiots. They are fully aware that The Don was everyone’s last choice, including their own. I suspect most Americans who voted for Mr. Drumpf have spent nearly every waking hour since then worried sick about whether or not they made a good decision.

     In essence, it seems, liberals fear (and rightly so) the threats built into every last one of Mr. Drumpf’s campaign promises. On the other hand, conservatives are deeply concerned (and rightly so) because King Orange clearly cannot be trusted any further than a man could heave him by his pumpkin-colored comb-over.

     I believe it is time for people to begin looking past their binary differences to find the common ground between them, and The Don has unwittingly provided just such a meeting point. Whether you voted for or against Him; whether you think Him a shithead or a visionary; no matter what end of the Ass-to-Elephant spectrum you fall most closely under, we can all unite in the fact that ABSOLUTELY NONE OF US trusts the next president.

     This fact alone may be enough to guide us. Whatever dilemmas you face in the next eight years, just think What would Drumpf do? and then do the opposite, secure at last that you are most likely doing the Right Thing.

Has George Bailey Left For Good?

Saturday, 12 November 2016

Has George Bailey Left For Good?

     I ran into some troublesome news about a month ago. I was reading the news at the time, so clearly I was asking for trouble, and sure enough it found me. I read that the French multinational banking conglomerate BNP Paribas was among the financial backers of the Dakota Access Pipeline project.

     This was troubling to me because my friendly neighborhood bank, Bank of the West, is a subsidiary of BNP Paribas. Once again, I found myself face-to-face with my own privileged hypocrisy: I fear climate change and sling self-righteous anger at the people and companies still profiting from fossil fuels, yet here I am maintaining my last remaining bank account with just such a company.

     I will admit I have a less than stellar personal track record when it comes to conserving fuel, reducing my carbon footprint, et cetera. Like many of my fellow Americans, I make full use of the electric grid to run a furnace, an AC system, and a hot water heater. My concern for the future of the planet still falls short when I have an immediate need to stop sweating, stop shivering, or take a hot shower. Nor does my desire for a livable environment stop me from cranking up my twenty-seven-year old three-quarter-ton pickup truck when I have errands to run or a job to get to, never mind that my gas mileage tops out at about 10mpg on the highway (I can feel your sanctimonious sneers, Prius drivers). In light of these facts, paying a few bucks in service charges to a subsidiary company of a DAPL stakeholder might seem so minor a sin as could be ignored, yet I found I could not let it go. Almost on impulse, the next time I brought in a paycheck to the bank for processing, I stopped and asked the branch manager about closing my account.

     Now I’m in a real pickle, because I need a checking account with someone in order to keep paying my bills. I have a few weeks’ grace on that, but finding a Socially Responsible local banking option is proving as difficult as finding an honest man in congress. Several times now I have fired up the search engines looking for some financial holding company run by the likes of George Bailey from It’s a Wonderful Life, and I keep on finding Mr. Potter and his Wall Street partners at every turn. I shouldn’t be surprised that finance organizations operate in the dark, like vampires, avoiding exposure to the glaring eye of the internet, but it is frustrating not even being able to tell where to begin looking.

     Banks I have investigated which seem small-time are often owned by New York money mafias or international finance-swindling conglomerates, and even that information is blasted difficult to find. The truth of it is that you will never find truth on any company’s own website, but with banks the obfuscation does not stop there. Third-party assessors focus their findings on the numerical advantages and disadvantages to potential investors and devote zero effort towards finding what else these conglomerations are funding. Left-wing environmentalist sites are delighted to provide the names of DAPL funders, but rarely offer any comprehensive sense of alternatives to those of us who just want a checking account with a friendly, local organization.

     It is not as though I will be moving huge assets around-- my account is already cleared monthly by all the creditors collecting from me these days. I suppose I just felt it was time for a gesture, no matter how small or apparently stupid. Stupid is fine, as long as it doesn’t also mean Pointless. Thus I am committed now-- to go back to Bank of the West or step sideways into another fossil fuel investor’s system would completely defeat the purpose of all the hassle I am putting myself through.

     The search is not defeated, nor is it hopeless. I have heard encouraging things about credit unions, as opposed to more traditional banks, and there are several institutions with “Colorado” in their titles I haven’t looked into yet. In the meantime, increasing the heat-efficiency of the house and researching more fuel-efficient cheap cars are both worthy causes to take on. Maybe I started at an unusual point, but the journey towards responsibility has to start somewhere-- why not here?

     Are you out there, Bailey Building & Loan? You have a new customer.